Wednesday 12/11/08 gonna pass VERY SOON.

I am well prepared.hold on.I havent complete what I wanted to say.hahas.I know I have disappoint myself this Sem.I know I gotta get tons of SHIT tomorrow.ASSESSMENT DAY.I have prepared enough tissue paper.I have prepared an empty head to go there to store all kinds of insulting,sarcasm,screaming,shouting,lecturing and any words that they will say to bring me down down and DOWN.even my work is gonna to be thrown to the ground or out of the window,I am prepared.I am standing stronger.thanks alot daddy.without his encouragement and teachings,i will still be sitting down and not wanting to stand up.because I have lost my balance.

he have already seen life more than i do.to him,little things like what will be happening tomorrow is nothing.to me,it may be a time that will make me remember for life.I made the choice to step into art.so I faced what is coming.I have to be responsible for every decision I made.daddy know for this Sem,the stress I am going through but still not able to really excel and do it well..he knows everything.he supports me through and say its okay to waste abit more of time to retake this and that.he say important thing is i have to prove to myself I can do it if others can.and I gonna live up the promise i gave him.after my holidays,i will put in alot of hard work and work for my weaker modules.as well as those better ones.i MUST go beyond challenges.

Now I know nothing i can do to make tomorrow a better one.so go into the room with a positive attitude,face the consequences,control my tears inside and say thank you to everyone of them who will give me a hell time and leave the room telling ymself no more shit for the upcoming sem.NO MORE.I WILL NEVER allow that to happen anymore.This is still the first time I have little fears and worries.this is the first time i really let myself down.though not for all work.but for majority.never felt this way like now.feel so terrible.I know i have to learn to take it easy because this is part and parcel of life.no point crying over split milk.at most,after all shit,come out,have a little bit of tears and everythings over..I will use actions to prove to not others but myself that i can do a much much more better job when school starts again.let my nervousness last for 1 more day..I dread school.but for the sake of that piece of paper that will lead me to the key of success,I have to bear with it.Look ahead.tough days will be over.it will be over..

I have alot more to face when I am out to society..and by that time,i work for the sake of money..to survive..holidays jobs are just to gain experience..real working life.isnt as easy as it seems to be..

thanks to my besties who have been staying with me duing this period of hell,and to my daddy and uncle all,many thanks to you all.i dont know how to express through words..but i really appreciate all that you all have told me..I will go through these difficult times..i will.. =)

thanks carol for sharing with me so much too.. =)

All the best to everyone on their assessment day.. =)
Here I come to face the outcome! My shitty day..November 12..Sigh~what a horrible feeling..ahh! *bang wall* =X




AND..she knows he is going to be back very soon.. =))