maybe saying too much in my past rela.this time round,I am loss for words now.I only know how to keep quiet and dont know how to expressed out all my feelings.I hide some emotions.In the past,I will work hard to bring back the rela until i know after many tests..we still cant go through or for some reasons..now..I agree on things too easily..I fear I will become too emotional..I fear I will say something wrong..and hurt the other person and myself..I am very sensitive to people's feelings..especially in rela..
I learnt alot from my past rela..really..I am very thankful to someone who once given me the best memories.but also I have let go of all the hurt and pain he had given me.but the scar will stay in my heart forever.and heres something I wish to let you know..the best memories you had given me..I will keep it inside my heart and nothing more.you should treat your gf well now..give her happiness..and dont hurt her..that will be your greatest gift to me..really.you know it yourself the hurt and pain in the past is unimaginable.too scary..you know very well..I am a girl who is very devoted to a rela and dont let go easily..but one incident after another..you know I am at my wits end and near to breaking down.really..forgive me for making a decision now..dont think about anything else now..treat her well..all the best.. .. ..if you dont think too far now..I promise we are still friends..you should treasure what you have now..

I never know I am so useless and stupid..
I never know I am so weak in rela..
I thought I could handle everyth well..
but in rela..I am just nothing.I dont have special ability to bring miracles.
why didnt I treasure what I have..and let him go..why..
why am I tearing these 3 weeks..why am I thinking about him all these while..why..that longing feeling..why is it even in taiwan..hes still on my mind every moment..why..why am i tearing silently when I am in taiwan..why..
I see something in myself..I fail to prove something..I cant even go through a single test or obstacle with him..am I worth to stay in his heart..I wish so much to keep him..but he will run right..i dont know..i fear..my appearance..makes him unhappy right..I dont know..i hope to salvage everything..will make him stressed..am i right..i dont know..my hurt and pain..will someone ever understand..I am so helpless..really very lost..I missed him so much..should I just give up like that..should everything end in this way..why is it ending this way..loving someone..should be walking with him no matter how tough the journey its going to be right..why am I letting him to walk alone..he doesnt allow me to walk with him right..I dont know..I dont have answers to all these questions..I wish my tears can stop..but it never stops..especially inside my heart..
hes someone I wish I can hold him till the endless of time..but I can never be the one for him right..i dont know..

anyway.thanks to my few besties for staying with me all these while..lets treasure the time we have..and lets study hard and play hard togather.. =) sy..alot of things..i can really understand..especially what you are going through now..you will be fine.. =)




I have alot to say..but I will stop here for now..take care all..




he once told me..I am someone who will let go when the string snaps..but I am not..I dont want to let go..
I wish i can share all my happiness with him..
these few weeks made me regret..for not keeping him..




will i ever get to see him again..
the last time when I saw him is the time he bought me two bottles of water..